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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Iām tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key.
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.