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Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
Iβm actually not funny. Iβm just really mean & people think Iβm joking.
When you were little, βIβm going to tell your momβ was the scariest sentence ever.
is in his own little world but itΒ΄s okay they know me here.
Instead of βsingleβ as a relationship option, it should read βindependently owned and operatedβ
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that sheβs never around when Iβm awake.
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.