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A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.
What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
Have you ever wondered if Dora is smuggling drugs in her backpack?
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
UFC is 10% fighting, and 90% advertising the next fight
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.