Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
Very productive day today, turd-wise
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.