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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I`m totally using that at work tomorrow.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
whoever snuck the `s` in fast food is a clever person
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time