Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Well today I turned 26, not because I wanted to, but only because Facebook limits how many times you can actually change your birth year !
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says "We need to talk".
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.