Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
I have every episode of Hoarders saved on DVD.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.