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Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right
The covers of this book are too far apart.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
This recliner and I go way back.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.