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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet, if I should die before I wake, tell my friends I drank it straight.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I don’t want a minivan.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.