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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t