Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now I’m legally required to pee sitting down.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Yelling "give me back my panties, you pervert" at joggers is a surprisingly effective way of encouraging them to run faster.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape