Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
I`m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park