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Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
How to cure a headache: 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.