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What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
The only way to communicate with a drunk person is to get hammered too.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.