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My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
Trail mix is just a reminder of how much better it would`ve been if I just ate a bag of M&M`s!
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
The problem with diets is pizza.
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
Why are Doctors so afraid of apples?
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.
is ready to have one too many!
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...