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Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.