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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
I never finish anyth...............
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.