Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.