Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.