Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Question everything...Or should you?
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."