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I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don`t tell people everything you know
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.