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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
DIET TIP: donβt eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.