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I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
that an iPhone 6+ in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.