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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the sh!t out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes