Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
I don’t write children’s books because the last page would always say: "Now shut up and go to sleep."
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor`s house is genius.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.