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Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
If you are what you eat then where is this place that a ton of people are eating stupid?
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job there.
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....