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My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
I broke up with my girlfriend by e-mail. I don`t know what upset her most, the fact that I did it by email or the fact that I cc`d my new girlfriend who wanted proof.