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Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.