Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!