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Why would I ever pay to go to a NASCAR event when I could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free?
Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.