Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re ignorant and make bad decisions.