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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
Dear New Years Resolutions People; You don`t have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
I`m as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.