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Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
I am not as think as you drunk I am
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
My life is based on a true story
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke.