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3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
If the NSA and IRS teamed up, I wouldn’t have to do my taxes.
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid`s vomit.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t