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I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
Next time you go to the bank and they ask you if you`d like large bills, just look at them dead serious and say "No, normal size ones if you don`t mind."
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)