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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
You know you`re getting old when you`re looking forward to some time off so you can have like three doctors appointments.
S枚 卯 h猫茫rd 每么u l矛k锚 g霉每拧 with 谩c莽e帽ts?
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
If you鈥檝e never pretended a Cheeto is a tiny caveman club, we can鈥檛 be friends.
Nice meeting you, but I forgot your name as soon as you said it...
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
I鈥檝e taken off my pants in most malls that I鈥檝e been to.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t