Daily Silly Status

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!

Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.

Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.

Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?

Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.

There may be two sides to every story, but you’re still a douche in both of them.

When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.

I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?

What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"

I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.

I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!

Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.

In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.