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Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
My memory foam has amnesia
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.