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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Dear Santa, I was framed!
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.