Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they`ll dig the wrong way. It`s called thinking ahead guys.
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.
Facebook is perfect for those people that have never been very good at waiting for their turn to speak.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.