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When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.