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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!