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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable applications of high explosives.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Good morning my friends ... Wait a minute ... What the f*ck am I doing up this early.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!