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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Whatever I did to make you hate me, I’d like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
I`m so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign And before that ... we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that sh!t.
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
Buying your wife a gun is like saying. "You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise."
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....