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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"