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I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Save your little napkin, bartender. I don’t plan on having this drink long enough to set it down.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
I’m late for a disappointment.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.