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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?