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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
And for my next magic trick, I`ll walk down a street and turn into a bar.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.