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Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.