Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pepsi and Coke can`t even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Last night I got drunk and ate 3 tennis balls by mistake, f*ck you Pringle`s.
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.