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My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
I like people... From a distance.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)