Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I’m asleep.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead but other people do. The same is true when you are stupid.
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.