😄 Daily Silly Status
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A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
Just once...one time; can`t we buy a tree that doesn`t try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.