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I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time."
about love
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.